There is a notion that when a man meets a woman, he can immediately put her in a category where he sees that woman playing a role in his life. And I’m here to tell you it’s true….to a certain extent. Now this may seem a bit harsh, but as a man I don’t think we purposely do this. Wait, let me take that back, we completely know that we’re doing when we do this. I just think this is the only way men can make sense out of their relationships with the very intricate and complex, yet magnificent and precious treasure that a woman is. Now that I’ve buttered you up, here’s how it goes.
There are four main categories that men place women in upon meeting them. There is the Girlfriend, the Sex Partner, the Best Friend, and last but not least the once in lifetime, love at first site, myth I’ve only read about in books or seen in movies but I think is completely probable…..the Wife. Now I’m sure there are thousands of sub-categories within the four I’ve mentioned, but to keep this as simple as possible we’ll just stick with these. Oh and there’s another point I need to make. I’m assuming that the men I’m speaking about are single. If a man is married or in a relationship, well let’s just say that that’s a whole other fish to fry. This as you know can get extremely complicated.
Men are very animalistic in nature. Think of them as animals in the wild. If they see something that attracts them, they either want to kill it and eat it, or love it. Let’s just call this natural selection. Now unless this guy is a cannibal or a nut case, he will in most cases want to love it. This brings me to my first category, the Sex Partner. Man and woman were created for each other for a sole purpose, and that is to mate and reproduce. And trust me when a man sees a woman from across the room or at a bar and says to himself, wow she’s hot, his headmost instinct is to grab her, rip her clothes off and mate. It could be her beauty, her smile, her style, etc. But whatever it is, that initial allure has sex written all over it. So even before you meet, before you say single word to each other, you have already been categorized as a sex partner.
Now at some point he will muster up the courage to come and talk to you about his plan to have sex with you until you both pass out from exhaustion. And at this point, here is where the real game begins. Within moments he will know if you will stay in that category of you being his sex partner for a little while. Or will there be something that happens during your interaction that suddenly moves you into another? That depends. It will be the difference between him saying, “So do you want to come to my place for a drink tonight” or, “can I have your number so I can take you to lunch tomorrow”. Her are the different scenarios that can ensue.
So now you meet, and he sees that you are just like him, maybe too much like him and maybe he wasn’t as into you as much as he thought he would be. He realizes you both love sports, cats, watching documentaries about veganism or whatever. You laugh and joke all night wondering how the time passed. And all of a sudden he forgets about how bad he wanted to jump your bones, and realizes how cool you are. All he wants to do is hang out with you, grab a beer or do something together that you both have in common. You my dear have now been put in the category of a Best Friend. But hold on, before we go any further. I have a theory about men and women being “best friends”. If one or both of the participants in this friendship is attractive, this friendship will never work. Especially since you two met initially through that attraction. It will always end up one day with one of you crying and confessing how you always loved the other person for years and couldn’t hold it in anymore. Or after a fun night of drinking a laugh turns into a kiss and you both wake up the next morning in bed wondering what the hell just happened. In that case either the friendship ends or you slip effortlessly into the category of either the sex partner, the girlfriend and maybe even one day his wife!! That’ll be a funny story for a wedding speech.
Ok, back the point. Let’s rewind a bit and talk about that initial interaction again. So now when you meet, you blow him away with your wit and your charm. He realizes your smart and funny with good values, great career, etc. Every box on his continuously changing punch list is checked. This makes you even more beautiful than he thought. He sees, that at least from your initial meeting that you are the girl that he’s been waiting to meet in is unsuccessful quest for companionship. You are now in the category of Girl Friend. Your goin home to momma!!
And last but not least, the category of Wife. As legend has it, there are some encounters that are Godly and upon meeting a woman you know in that second that she is your wife. I’ve never experienced this yet, but I’m assuming that this is what it would feel like. “When I meet you everything in the room disappears. There is a glow around you, and my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. Every word you say, sounds like a symphony of Mozart. I look into your eyes and I see your soul. I feel you. You ask, “why are you staring at me like that”, and I’m thinking because all I can do is imagine you playing with our children in our yard. I’m already checking the ring of your first name with my last. I completely lose time. I’ve known you all my life. You are my Wife”. Wow, what an image!
One very important thing to keep in mind, is that it is very easy to slip in and out and back and forth between these categories. What you imagined in the beginning may not be. Life is funny in the way things turn out sometime. The woman you believed to be your wife may end up being the girlfriend you let get away. Or the sex partner you imagined became the best friend because the your sexual connection was terrible. But trust me, they do exist. You just never know which one you will start or where you will ultimately end up.
Chris Collins, a model for Ralph Lauren for 16 years. He his not your average model. Beyond his looks, and his charm, he’s smart. With degrees in Biology and Psychology, planning to be a Doctor later in life, he will soon be using his intelligence and influence on his own platform, as a journalist. This piece is a sampling of his work and his creation of the long awaited….Chris Collins Report!